I am currently 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant with our little one. At 37 weeks, I was placed on limited bed rest due to borderline high blood pressure. Or really elevated blood pressure. My numbers weren't terrible and were mostly normal resting but life as a litigation paralegal, even in the government, with a two year old (almost three) at home was starting to take a toll on my body. I couldn't seem to relax with all the things that needed to be done.
In addition, when you are pregnant with your second baby, it seems people don't think you need as much help. I hate to say, but second pregnancies (and probably third and fourth and... ) are much harder than first pregnancies. The big reasons are 1) you don't have a child at home to take care of all the time; 2) you can take naps whenever you need to take one and 3) you can stay at work late to make up the hours from the extra naps or sleeping in or whatever. When you have a child at home, life must continue pretty close to normal. You still have to get up when your child awakes to help them use the potty or get clothes on or feed them breakfast and get them to daycare or preschool. You still have to go to work except now, you can't stay late as often or take as many naps because you've got a child you have to pick up at preschool or daycare before they start charging you a million dollars a minute for being late. And now, you have a mess making machine running around your house pulling out toys and snacks and whatever they can find. I am supremely fortunate to have one of the most supportive husbands in the world. He has taken on a huge share of these responsibilities. Nevertheless, he cannot do it all and has his own needs and extracurricular activities that he has obligations to meet. I feel constantly torn between resting and cleaning, caring, working, playing, etc.
For months, I tried to work out arrangements with office to try and accommodate my needs as my pregnancy progressed. However, I am a unioned, government employee who had only been at my agency a very short time (less than 1 year). There was little that could be done to accommodate my needs. After months and months of doing the best I could, my body said enough! My blood pressure went up and would only go down again when resting on my side. So, if my agency couldn't help me then my midwives would insist on limited bed rest.
Thank goodness it is only limited bed rest. My blood pressure responds well to rest and I am fortunate that I am still allowed to putter around the house and play with my son. Believe it or not, there are some medical downsides to strict bed rest, which I won't go into. Nevertheless,I've had to tone it WAY down and add naps and baths and resting. As I write this, I think, "this doesn't sound so bad. Why did you cry and cry when you found out you were being put on bed rest?" Well, it was a hard pill to swallow. Up until 37 weeks, I had one of the simplest pregnancies on the books. All of my numbers were textbook and the baby was developing perfectly. My main problem was fatigue. I was able to mostly keep up with all the needs in my household and work. So, when I was told to basically stop everything, I felt a bit lost. I also felt like I had all of the sudden ruined my pregnancy. I know it sounds dramatic but it was very hard for me to process. It took me a few days to realize that this bed rest was a good thing and it took me about a week to begin to enjoy it.
Now, I had to come to the realization that my body was tired from everything I was doing while trying to grow a healthy baby. Since I was not able to handle everything at the very end of my pregnancy, my body was telling me that it MUST have more rest and time to prepare for the arrival of our child. I am fortunate to have an amazing group of midwives and birth workers who help me take this time to myself. A simple letter from my midwives and I was able to get the time and space I needed to prepare of birth. Instead of seeing it as a failing, I needed to see it as a gift and embrace it.
Once I was able to see what a gift I was given, I was able to begin to think of what I could do. I had already prepared for the baby by getting my birth supplies, stocking my fridge and doing the normal things like washing clothes and diapers and getting the essentials from storage. Now I could do all of the things that I never have time to do. Here are a few:
1)Epsom Salt Bath This is amazing because it reduces swelling and is used to treat high blood pressure. In addition, it helps with digestion and helps you sleep. Finally, it is used to treat preterm labor so it can help ease excessive practice labor if you are having trouble sleeping. I add lavender essential oils because it is calming. I feel amazing after these baths and my blood pressure is always down.
2)Read a Fun Book Other than birth books, I almost never had time to read books during my pregnancy or really since my son began to walk and talk. At 36 weeks, I had already promised my birth assistant that I would put away all the birth books. Now, I had time to enjoy them. I pulled out two fun murder mysteries and now I'm reading The Dovekeepers based on the recommendation of my mother-in-law.
3)Knitting Projects I haven't knitted something since I got pregnant my first time. Since being put on bed rest, I've knitted one pair of baby legwarmers to use instead of pants for my winter baby. I'm working on my second project now. There is something so soothing about the clicking of the needles and the repetitive motion of knitting.
4)Relaxation Techniques I finally have time to practice more of my relaxations techniques I learned in my Bradley and Hypnobirthing classes. This is helpful in preparation for birth and for reducing my blood pressure.
5) Small Tasks Around The House Since I am still so used to being active all day long, I sometimes cannot help but do a load of laundry or run a load of dishes. But, interestingly, I usually only need to do a small amount to reduce the stress of the chaos that has become my home. I've learned to accept (a little more) the amount of mess that builds up when one parent is unable to chip in. I've also gotten better about asking for help from friends and family. But it is very nice to still feel useful. So, I fold laundry after my husband helps take it out of the dryer and bring it to me. And I bake muffins from the last two brown bananas if that will make me happy. And then I lay down and take a nap.
I hope that all of you who end up on bed rest are able to come to terms with the new way of life. Luckily, it is only temporary and at the end, we will have a beautiful baby. My hope is that everyone is able to embrace the space that is given to us. It may be the last time we get this kind of rest for a while. Now, I'm off to rest some more. Please let me know how you made your bed rest enjoyable.
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