I am so sorry that it has been over two weeks since I last posted. Two weeks ago today, I had a beautiful, healthy baby boy at home in a birthing tub in my bedroom at 8:42 pm. The birth was everything I could have hoped for and more. Here's my wonderful birth story.
Saturday morning, I woke up and felt different. It might have been the lack of sleep or the fact that I slept the last few hours on the floor since my bed was full of my husband and my todler. I woke up to my husband asking me if I wanted to move my 9 am prenatal massage to 12 noon. OF COURSE! More sleep was good. I went to the bathroom and climbed back into bed for a few more hours.
When I woke up, things still felt a little different but I wasn't sure what. None of the signs that I was going into labor that happened with my older son, H, happened this time. So I grabbed some food, changed and headed off to the massage appointment. When I arrived at the office, I asked the masseuse to feel free to press all of my pressure points as I was 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant and thought things might go forward. My wonderful masseuse obliged and caused some minor contractions that started stopped when she pressed the acupressure points.
At the end of the appointment, I stood up to a small gush of fluid. At the time I didn't think much of it. I figured it could have been anything and it was such a small amount. I headed home to grab some more lunch and hopefully take a nap. As I got out of the car, I had some more gushes. Hmmmm... could this be my water breaking as a small trickle instead of one big gush? I wasn't sure. I had lunch, called my doula and confirmed that it was likely what was happening. However, since I wasn't having contractions, I decided to help my son take a nap and take one myself. We also called my mom to warn her she would likely need to come over sometime soon today.
I slept from about 2pm until 3:30pm when I was awoken by some rather uncomfortable cramping. At first I figured it was something other than labor because the discomfort was entirely in my pelvis and not across my entire uterus. After 3 or 4 of these pains, I got my husband and told him I thought something was up. I also called my mother to ask her to come on over. I then called my doula to ask her if these were contractions. She said they probably were contractions and that they might be slightly abnormal and asked me to time the contractions. It was around 4:15pm. I timed the contractions and sure enough they were 8 minutes apart for at least 1 minute long. My husband, B, called the doula back and filled her in. By the time we called, the contractions had reached 6 minutes apart and it was round 5:30pm. My sweet doula had to leave her holiday part to come to my birth but never once made me feel bad. She was excited to welcome our baby to this earth. We all agreed it was time to call the midwife and the birth assistant.
We called the on call service for the midwife and got a call back around 6pm or so. At this point I was uncomfortable and couldn't find a good position to relieve the discomfort. I climbed into the shower and found almost instant relief. Unfortunately, the midwife and the birth assistant wanted to talk with me so out I came. We chatted for a while and decided it was time to make the bed and set up the birth tub. The midwife suggested getting in the tub as soon as possible as it would likely relieve the discomfort. Unfortunately, I was afraid of getting in the tub too early so we hadn't set everything up early enough. It took a while to get things going and then we ran out of hot water (partly from my long shower and partly because it is a big tub and we have a small hot water heater).
At around 6:30pm my doula showed up and started assisting me. She gave me some suggestions on positions to try including polar bear, leaning over the birth ball, leaning over the bed, and doing hip circles on the birth ball. Each provided some relief but not enough. I kept looking longingly at that birth tub. When my midwife and birth assistant showed up at 7pm and 7:3pm my contractions were about 4 minutes apart for a minute each. B ran around the house getting everyone comfortable, turning up the hot water heater, setting up water to boil for the tub and heating up chicken soup for me to eat in case I was hungry. The midwife asked if I would be up for a dilation check. I was uncomfortable and still feeling most of the discomfort in my pelvis so I didn't want a check. She never asked again the entire night.
At this point, I began to feel like I needed B by my side. I asked them to make sure he came up and stopped whatever he was doing. I needed him! I also begged to get in the tub even though there was only about a foot of water. B changed into his bathing suit and climbed into the tub with me. He sat in the tub and I leaned back onto his shoulder with most of my body just barely submerged in the water. I felt instant relief. My birth team lit my candles, turned down the lights and were quite for the rest of the birth. It was approximately 7:15pm. I closed my eyes and focused on relaxing. I breathed deeply and tried to relax my entire body. My doula used a cup to pour water over my stomach. She constantly comforted me with words and gentle touch. Other than my doula and my husband, I wasn't aware of anyone in the room other than the occasional poplar check my the baby's heart rate and a crunch of an apple. I held my husband's hand... or rather he held mine. I didn't even grip him but just rested my hand his his. I needed to know he had me even though I was leaning on him. Through each contractions I quietly vocalized in as low a register as I could. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I was hoping to be as peaceful as possible. However, the vocalizations helped me focus through the contractions and almost felt more like singing than moaning.
Soon, the birth team brought me boiling water for the tub and turned on the hot water. My belly was finally submerged. It was lovely but then I got too hot. The change from hot to cold water was too distracting, I finally asked them to just turn off the water even if there wasn't much in the tub. I set back to relaxing. At some point soon after, I felt I needed a change of position. I turned on my left side with my head still on B's shoulder. My doula continued to pour water over my shoulder and constantly supported me. I was in transition. The contractions were on top of each other and double peaking. My vocalizations became more intense and sometimes included buzzing of my lips to try and help with relaxing my face and focusing on the contractions. I also sometimes would repeat things like "Open"and "Baby" or "Come on baby"to help me visualize the birth process. Throughout this, time seemed to stand still or slow down or speed up. It was an alternate time I'd never really experienced. I kept my eyes shut for almost the entire time.
After what was only a handful of contractions in transition, I felt things changing. I had some idea that pushing was coming very soon. I did what I thought was J breathing to help bring the baby down. This was for just a few contractions.
And then I experienced the most powerful sensation I have ever felt in my life. The intense urge to push was completely overpowering and at first completely terrifying. My body took over and would not let me control what was happening. I began to say things like "I can't do this" over and over and even tried closing my legs. It was so intense. I was on my back and couldn't get comfortable or focused. Without consciously making a decision, I turned onto my knees and draped my arms over B's shoulders. In my head, I repeated over and over "Surrender" and trying to remember to breath. It was extremely powerful. During those last 3 or 4 pushes, I vocalized extremely loudly and from a primal place that I have never been before and couldn't access consciously again. It was a place of power and out of being and magic. Within those 3 or 4 pushes, my baby was born in the water. With a little help, I turned over and received my baby. I checked and it was a boy! Little C was here! The birth team called my mother and son, H, to the room. H took off his clothes and climbed into the tub to meet his new brother. We were a family and we all were able to experience the magic. It was 8:42 pm. My entire labor was about 5 hours and 15 minutes. Transition and pushing were each about 15 minutes. It was a wonderful birth.
As I climbed out of the tub to birth the placenta and be checked, I was able to keep C with me for over an hour. I couldn't believe I had just succeeded in having the birth I wanted. I felt strong, awestruck, and humbled at the same time. My family had grown and so had my heart. It was a truly transformational experience. I was and am so thankful for being given the space to have the birth I wanted. I wouldn't have changed one moment of the birth.
I hope that each of you are able to have a birth that you want and need. Whatever that birth looks like, it should be exactly what you want and need. Thanks again to my doula, midwife, birth assistant and husband for making this experience so beautiful.
No comments:
Post a Comment