As of today, I am 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant. In the past two and a half weeks, I have had many, many, MANY nights of practice labor. I call it practice labor and not just Braxton Hicks contractions because they are more intense than the normal BH I've been feeling for months. In addition, the contractions have been regular in timing and spacing and have even had times when they progressed closer and closer together. They always come on in the evening when I should be sleeping. This is not surprising since oxytocin is higher at night naturally. They eventually go away and I'm able to grab a couple hours of sleep here and there.
With my first pregnancy, I had Braxton Hicks for months and months before I went into labor. However, I never had anything regular or strong before I actually went into labor. I was able to get sleep most nights and wake up rested. I was surprised when I finally went into labor as I almost felt like I had no warning.
This pregnancy, I have many nights of these practice labors. They are good because they are getting my body ready for my birthing day. In addition, it helps with dilation and effacement of my cervix. It has also given me lots of time to practice breathing and relaxations techniques from my class. These are really a good thing.
My main frustration is the emotional havoc it seems to be playing on me emotionally. I'm already so ready to have this baby. From the hours a day I think about it as I sit in my living room/bathtub/bed during bed rest to the dreams I have throughout the night. Then, I get into 2 or 4 or 6 or more hours of these contractions, I start think maybe I'll get to meet my baby tonight. Some nights I've chosen to try and stop the contractions. Some nights I've hoped and prayed that they were real. Yet each night, the contractions have stopped and I've woken up still pregnant dreaming of meeting my baby. I feel overwhelmed by the emotional roller coaster that I am riding.
However, I am now only 5 days from my due date. I will not stay pregnant forever. No matter what, I will be able to meet my baby and very soon. In comparison to the 39 weeks and 2 days I've been pregnant, I only have a very short amount of time to wait to meet this baby. The longer the baby stays in my belly, the healthier it will be. It gives me days to rest and prepare and nights to dream of the little fingers and toes currently tickling my tummy. Soon I will miss those flutters and kicks. It is a challenge for me to stay that positive but I am working on it. I am trying to honor my disappointment and recognize that it is normal. I am fortunate to have a group of women in my birth team and friends and family who continue to remind me that everything is as it should be. The baby will arrive when it is ready. Until then, I cuddle my son and husband and embrace my belly as the baby moves within. Soon, we will all get to be a family together.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Surviving and Even Enjoying Bed Rest
I am currently 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant with our little one. At 37 weeks, I was placed on limited bed rest due to borderline high blood pressure. Or really elevated blood pressure. My numbers weren't terrible and were mostly normal resting but life as a litigation paralegal, even in the government, with a two year old (almost three) at home was starting to take a toll on my body. I couldn't seem to relax with all the things that needed to be done.
In addition, when you are pregnant with your second baby, it seems people don't think you need as much help. I hate to say, but second pregnancies (and probably third and fourth and... ) are much harder than first pregnancies. The big reasons are 1) you don't have a child at home to take care of all the time; 2) you can take naps whenever you need to take one and 3) you can stay at work late to make up the hours from the extra naps or sleeping in or whatever. When you have a child at home, life must continue pretty close to normal. You still have to get up when your child awakes to help them use the potty or get clothes on or feed them breakfast and get them to daycare or preschool. You still have to go to work except now, you can't stay late as often or take as many naps because you've got a child you have to pick up at preschool or daycare before they start charging you a million dollars a minute for being late. And now, you have a mess making machine running around your house pulling out toys and snacks and whatever they can find. I am supremely fortunate to have one of the most supportive husbands in the world. He has taken on a huge share of these responsibilities. Nevertheless, he cannot do it all and has his own needs and extracurricular activities that he has obligations to meet. I feel constantly torn between resting and cleaning, caring, working, playing, etc.
For months, I tried to work out arrangements with office to try and accommodate my needs as my pregnancy progressed. However, I am a unioned, government employee who had only been at my agency a very short time (less than 1 year). There was little that could be done to accommodate my needs. After months and months of doing the best I could, my body said enough! My blood pressure went up and would only go down again when resting on my side. So, if my agency couldn't help me then my midwives would insist on limited bed rest.
Thank goodness it is only limited bed rest. My blood pressure responds well to rest and I am fortunate that I am still allowed to putter around the house and play with my son. Believe it or not, there are some medical downsides to strict bed rest, which I won't go into. Nevertheless,I've had to tone it WAY down and add naps and baths and resting. As I write this, I think, "this doesn't sound so bad. Why did you cry and cry when you found out you were being put on bed rest?" Well, it was a hard pill to swallow. Up until 37 weeks, I had one of the simplest pregnancies on the books. All of my numbers were textbook and the baby was developing perfectly. My main problem was fatigue. I was able to mostly keep up with all the needs in my household and work. So, when I was told to basically stop everything, I felt a bit lost. I also felt like I had all of the sudden ruined my pregnancy. I know it sounds dramatic but it was very hard for me to process. It took me a few days to realize that this bed rest was a good thing and it took me about a week to begin to enjoy it.
Now, I had to come to the realization that my body was tired from everything I was doing while trying to grow a healthy baby. Since I was not able to handle everything at the very end of my pregnancy, my body was telling me that it MUST have more rest and time to prepare for the arrival of our child. I am fortunate to have an amazing group of midwives and birth workers who help me take this time to myself. A simple letter from my midwives and I was able to get the time and space I needed to prepare of birth. Instead of seeing it as a failing, I needed to see it as a gift and embrace it.
Once I was able to see what a gift I was given, I was able to begin to think of what I could do. I had already prepared for the baby by getting my birth supplies, stocking my fridge and doing the normal things like washing clothes and diapers and getting the essentials from storage. Now I could do all of the things that I never have time to do. Here are a few:
1)Epsom Salt Bath This is amazing because it reduces swelling and is used to treat high blood pressure. In addition, it helps with digestion and helps you sleep. Finally, it is used to treat preterm labor so it can help ease excessive practice labor if you are having trouble sleeping. I add lavender essential oils because it is calming. I feel amazing after these baths and my blood pressure is always down.
2)Read a Fun Book Other than birth books, I almost never had time to read books during my pregnancy or really since my son began to walk and talk. At 36 weeks, I had already promised my birth assistant that I would put away all the birth books. Now, I had time to enjoy them. I pulled out two fun murder mysteries and now I'm reading The Dovekeepers based on the recommendation of my mother-in-law.
3)Knitting Projects I haven't knitted something since I got pregnant my first time. Since being put on bed rest, I've knitted one pair of baby legwarmers to use instead of pants for my winter baby. I'm working on my second project now. There is something so soothing about the clicking of the needles and the repetitive motion of knitting.
4)Relaxation Techniques I finally have time to practice more of my relaxations techniques I learned in my Bradley and Hypnobirthing classes. This is helpful in preparation for birth and for reducing my blood pressure.
5) Small Tasks Around The House Since I am still so used to being active all day long, I sometimes cannot help but do a load of laundry or run a load of dishes. But, interestingly, I usually only need to do a small amount to reduce the stress of the chaos that has become my home. I've learned to accept (a little more) the amount of mess that builds up when one parent is unable to chip in. I've also gotten better about asking for help from friends and family. But it is very nice to still feel useful. So, I fold laundry after my husband helps take it out of the dryer and bring it to me. And I bake muffins from the last two brown bananas if that will make me happy. And then I lay down and take a nap.
I hope that all of you who end up on bed rest are able to come to terms with the new way of life. Luckily, it is only temporary and at the end, we will have a beautiful baby. My hope is that everyone is able to embrace the space that is given to us. It may be the last time we get this kind of rest for a while. Now, I'm off to rest some more. Please let me know how you made your bed rest enjoyable.
In addition, when you are pregnant with your second baby, it seems people don't think you need as much help. I hate to say, but second pregnancies (and probably third and fourth and... ) are much harder than first pregnancies. The big reasons are 1) you don't have a child at home to take care of all the time; 2) you can take naps whenever you need to take one and 3) you can stay at work late to make up the hours from the extra naps or sleeping in or whatever. When you have a child at home, life must continue pretty close to normal. You still have to get up when your child awakes to help them use the potty or get clothes on or feed them breakfast and get them to daycare or preschool. You still have to go to work except now, you can't stay late as often or take as many naps because you've got a child you have to pick up at preschool or daycare before they start charging you a million dollars a minute for being late. And now, you have a mess making machine running around your house pulling out toys and snacks and whatever they can find. I am supremely fortunate to have one of the most supportive husbands in the world. He has taken on a huge share of these responsibilities. Nevertheless, he cannot do it all and has his own needs and extracurricular activities that he has obligations to meet. I feel constantly torn between resting and cleaning, caring, working, playing, etc.
For months, I tried to work out arrangements with office to try and accommodate my needs as my pregnancy progressed. However, I am a unioned, government employee who had only been at my agency a very short time (less than 1 year). There was little that could be done to accommodate my needs. After months and months of doing the best I could, my body said enough! My blood pressure went up and would only go down again when resting on my side. So, if my agency couldn't help me then my midwives would insist on limited bed rest.
Thank goodness it is only limited bed rest. My blood pressure responds well to rest and I am fortunate that I am still allowed to putter around the house and play with my son. Believe it or not, there are some medical downsides to strict bed rest, which I won't go into. Nevertheless,I've had to tone it WAY down and add naps and baths and resting. As I write this, I think, "this doesn't sound so bad. Why did you cry and cry when you found out you were being put on bed rest?" Well, it was a hard pill to swallow. Up until 37 weeks, I had one of the simplest pregnancies on the books. All of my numbers were textbook and the baby was developing perfectly. My main problem was fatigue. I was able to mostly keep up with all the needs in my household and work. So, when I was told to basically stop everything, I felt a bit lost. I also felt like I had all of the sudden ruined my pregnancy. I know it sounds dramatic but it was very hard for me to process. It took me a few days to realize that this bed rest was a good thing and it took me about a week to begin to enjoy it.
Now, I had to come to the realization that my body was tired from everything I was doing while trying to grow a healthy baby. Since I was not able to handle everything at the very end of my pregnancy, my body was telling me that it MUST have more rest and time to prepare for the arrival of our child. I am fortunate to have an amazing group of midwives and birth workers who help me take this time to myself. A simple letter from my midwives and I was able to get the time and space I needed to prepare of birth. Instead of seeing it as a failing, I needed to see it as a gift and embrace it.
Once I was able to see what a gift I was given, I was able to begin to think of what I could do. I had already prepared for the baby by getting my birth supplies, stocking my fridge and doing the normal things like washing clothes and diapers and getting the essentials from storage. Now I could do all of the things that I never have time to do. Here are a few:
1)Epsom Salt Bath This is amazing because it reduces swelling and is used to treat high blood pressure. In addition, it helps with digestion and helps you sleep. Finally, it is used to treat preterm labor so it can help ease excessive practice labor if you are having trouble sleeping. I add lavender essential oils because it is calming. I feel amazing after these baths and my blood pressure is always down.
2)Read a Fun Book Other than birth books, I almost never had time to read books during my pregnancy or really since my son began to walk and talk. At 36 weeks, I had already promised my birth assistant that I would put away all the birth books. Now, I had time to enjoy them. I pulled out two fun murder mysteries and now I'm reading The Dovekeepers based on the recommendation of my mother-in-law.
3)Knitting Projects I haven't knitted something since I got pregnant my first time. Since being put on bed rest, I've knitted one pair of baby legwarmers to use instead of pants for my winter baby. I'm working on my second project now. There is something so soothing about the clicking of the needles and the repetitive motion of knitting.
4)Relaxation Techniques I finally have time to practice more of my relaxations techniques I learned in my Bradley and Hypnobirthing classes. This is helpful in preparation for birth and for reducing my blood pressure.
5) Small Tasks Around The House Since I am still so used to being active all day long, I sometimes cannot help but do a load of laundry or run a load of dishes. But, interestingly, I usually only need to do a small amount to reduce the stress of the chaos that has become my home. I've learned to accept (a little more) the amount of mess that builds up when one parent is unable to chip in. I've also gotten better about asking for help from friends and family. But it is very nice to still feel useful. So, I fold laundry after my husband helps take it out of the dryer and bring it to me. And I bake muffins from the last two brown bananas if that will make me happy. And then I lay down and take a nap.
I hope that all of you who end up on bed rest are able to come to terms with the new way of life. Luckily, it is only temporary and at the end, we will have a beautiful baby. My hope is that everyone is able to embrace the space that is given to us. It may be the last time we get this kind of rest for a while. Now, I'm off to rest some more. Please let me know how you made your bed rest enjoyable.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Prepping for Baby - Part 1 - Birth Supplies
In preparation for a baby, so many first time moms spend tons and tons of energy preparing the nursery and making sure all the supplies are purchased. I did this with my son too as I was sure it was the only way we would be "ready." In retrospect, many of the things we purchased didn't get used for months and months and some things were never used. However, at the time, it gave me a sense of calm that I greatly needed as a first time mom.
This time around, there were two big things that were important for me to prepare for this baby's arrival. First, we needed to have all of our supplies ready for our home birth. The second thing that I needed to do for sanity was to stock our freezer with prepared meals for once the baby comes. This is particularly helpful right now as I am on light bed rest. I will write
The birth supply list was provided to us by our midwife. We added a couple key items including:
1) Magnesium Oil - This is great to assist with pain relief during labor. We also use it since my blood pressure has been slightly elevated. Magnesium is a successful treatment for elevated blood pressure. I also take it when I'm having trouble sleeping with Braxton Hicks contractions as it can lessen them enough to sleep through the contractions.
2) Topricin - This is a wonderful homeopathic cream recommended to me by my chiropractor. It is safe to use during pregnancy. I have used it for pelvis and hip pain since earl in my pregnancy and it works great for carpel tunnel syndrome and plantar faciaitis that can be common problems during pregnancy.
3) Lavender Essential Oils - This is helpful for relaxation during labor. I have been using the lavender throughout my relaxation practice sessions to help me associate the scent with a relaxed state of being.
4) Honey Sticks - This is a fabulous source of energy during labor. It is in easy packets that won't make mess during labor.
5) Hot/Cold Heat Pack - This can be used hot or cold to relieve discomfort during labor and postpartum. This one has a heavenly scent of lavender and camomile.
6) Raspberry Leaf Tea - This helps tone the uterus and can be taken throughout pregnancy. I've taken it since my second trimester and increased it in my third. It can be used during labor and with a little honey, it can be a wonderful way to keep hydrated.
7) New Mama Bottom Spray - this is great for postpartum to ease the discomforts in the nether regions that get a lot of stretching and pulling during birth. I've also used this a little prenatally to ease some earlier discomforts.
8) After Ease Tincture - This is also for postpartum and should help reduce the postpartum labor pains that tend to get stronger with each pregnancy and birth. I was able to use Tylenol and Advil with my son but I have heard amazing things about this tincture.
9) Homemade Chicken Soup - We made about a gallon of home made chicken soup that we have been gradually eating. It freezes well and is incredibly nourishing. It is also high in gelatin which is so good for you. Our recipe is VERY easy. We take a very large stock put and place two whole chickens (about 2 lbs each) into the pot sideways. We fill it with at least onions, celery and carrots and we add as much as we want to fill the pot. I think there can never be too many vegetables. We also add whole peppercorns and a couple bay leaves. We then fill the pot as close to the top as we can to allow for initial boiling. We put the pot on the stove and bring it to a light boil and turn it down to a low simmer for at least 4 hours or as long as overnight. Don't let it boil that entire time or the soup will be very cloudy and the gelatin will break down. Once the soup has cooled, pull out the bones (which will mostly fall out of the chicken) and the skin as well, if you wish. I leave the chicken fat on the soup because we use grass fed pastured chickens and it is full of vitamins A and D. You can skim if you prefer. We store in canning jars or in the freezer in freezer bags.
10) Nuts and Dried Fruit - These are great sources of energy during labor and postpartum. We use organic nuts that we soak and dehydrate. My personal favorite are almonds and cashews. They are very high in good fats, vitamins and minerals. We also have a mixture of dried fruit and some dark chocolate covered fruit and nuts as well. Also, we have yummy rolled dates with coconut which is also very good for labor and high in amazing minerals.
11) Coconut Water Powder and Fruit Juice - This is also wonderful hydration and much better for you than any commercial sports drinks on the market. We usually mix half water, half juice with a tablespoon of the powder. It is extremely helpful during early pregnancy during morning sickness periods. This has excellent sources of minerals including magnesium and potassium. Sea Salt also works well if you don't have the coconut water powder.
12) We also have our Rebozo that we will be using prenatally, during labor and birth and postpartum. My doula, midwives and birth assistant all have been trained to use the Rebozo to assist in labor and birth. Here's a great e-book that can help if you cannot find a way to learn Rebozo from a class or doula. Also, check out the Spinning Babies website for additional descriptions of use of a Rebozo. I can't wait to experience this magic.
13) Birth Ball - We are using a birth ball to assist us during prenatal practice, labor and maybe birth. This helps balance the pelvis when seated on the ball. Hip circles on the ball feel amazing and can strengthen the core and help reduce discomfort in the hips before the baby comes. They can also be done during labor to help the baby move down and work with contractions. Also, pelvic tilts on the birth ball are sometimes more comfortable than on all fours. Some people find this helpful during actual delivery as well. I like to do my birth affirmations while swaying or leaning on the birth ball to encourage good positioning of the baby and provide some physical relaxation to the body while on the ball.
14) AquaDoula Tub - We rented our tub from our birth assistant. It is huge and will allow my husband and I to get into the tub during labor and birth. There are many benefits to water birth and I won't go into them here. However, the main reason we chose this is that it is very helpful in reducing discomfort during labor and birth and reduce the risk of tearing during pushing and birth.
15) iPod Mini - I have my birth affirmations and relaxation techniques saved on the ipod. It can clip to my sports bra even in the tub and allow me to go to my own peaceful place during labor and birth. We may add other music later but for now, that's all we have on it.
16) Birth Empowerment Space- This is something I learned from the Sacred Pregnancy movement. Mine includes my belly cast, a birth painting I painted, birth affirmations, lots of candles, my flower crown and birthing necklace from my blessingway. It is a physical reminder of the support I have with me physically and spirituallly for birth.
17) Jewish Books - I have two books of prayers to read during labor and right after birth. This was very powerful for me with my first birth. I also have some chants that my friend provided me.
I hope you find this helpful. Do you think I'm missing anything? Let me know what you think in the comments below!
This time around, there were two big things that were important for me to prepare for this baby's arrival. First, we needed to have all of our supplies ready for our home birth. The second thing that I needed to do for sanity was to stock our freezer with prepared meals for once the baby comes. This is particularly helpful right now as I am on light bed rest. I will write
The birth supply list was provided to us by our midwife. We added a couple key items including:
1) Magnesium Oil - This is great to assist with pain relief during labor. We also use it since my blood pressure has been slightly elevated. Magnesium is a successful treatment for elevated blood pressure. I also take it when I'm having trouble sleeping with Braxton Hicks contractions as it can lessen them enough to sleep through the contractions.
2) Topricin - This is a wonderful homeopathic cream recommended to me by my chiropractor. It is safe to use during pregnancy. I have used it for pelvis and hip pain since earl in my pregnancy and it works great for carpel tunnel syndrome and plantar faciaitis that can be common problems during pregnancy.
3) Lavender Essential Oils - This is helpful for relaxation during labor. I have been using the lavender throughout my relaxation practice sessions to help me associate the scent with a relaxed state of being.
4) Honey Sticks - This is a fabulous source of energy during labor. It is in easy packets that won't make mess during labor.
5) Hot/Cold Heat Pack - This can be used hot or cold to relieve discomfort during labor and postpartum. This one has a heavenly scent of lavender and camomile.
6) Raspberry Leaf Tea - This helps tone the uterus and can be taken throughout pregnancy. I've taken it since my second trimester and increased it in my third. It can be used during labor and with a little honey, it can be a wonderful way to keep hydrated.
7) New Mama Bottom Spray - this is great for postpartum to ease the discomforts in the nether regions that get a lot of stretching and pulling during birth. I've also used this a little prenatally to ease some earlier discomforts.
8) After Ease Tincture - This is also for postpartum and should help reduce the postpartum labor pains that tend to get stronger with each pregnancy and birth. I was able to use Tylenol and Advil with my son but I have heard amazing things about this tincture.
9) Homemade Chicken Soup - We made about a gallon of home made chicken soup that we have been gradually eating. It freezes well and is incredibly nourishing. It is also high in gelatin which is so good for you. Our recipe is VERY easy. We take a very large stock put and place two whole chickens (about 2 lbs each) into the pot sideways. We fill it with at least onions, celery and carrots and we add as much as we want to fill the pot. I think there can never be too many vegetables. We also add whole peppercorns and a couple bay leaves. We then fill the pot as close to the top as we can to allow for initial boiling. We put the pot on the stove and bring it to a light boil and turn it down to a low simmer for at least 4 hours or as long as overnight. Don't let it boil that entire time or the soup will be very cloudy and the gelatin will break down. Once the soup has cooled, pull out the bones (which will mostly fall out of the chicken) and the skin as well, if you wish. I leave the chicken fat on the soup because we use grass fed pastured chickens and it is full of vitamins A and D. You can skim if you prefer. We store in canning jars or in the freezer in freezer bags.
10) Nuts and Dried Fruit - These are great sources of energy during labor and postpartum. We use organic nuts that we soak and dehydrate. My personal favorite are almonds and cashews. They are very high in good fats, vitamins and minerals. We also have a mixture of dried fruit and some dark chocolate covered fruit and nuts as well. Also, we have yummy rolled dates with coconut which is also very good for labor and high in amazing minerals.
11) Coconut Water Powder and Fruit Juice - This is also wonderful hydration and much better for you than any commercial sports drinks on the market. We usually mix half water, half juice with a tablespoon of the powder. It is extremely helpful during early pregnancy during morning sickness periods. This has excellent sources of minerals including magnesium and potassium. Sea Salt also works well if you don't have the coconut water powder.
12) We also have our Rebozo that we will be using prenatally, during labor and birth and postpartum. My doula, midwives and birth assistant all have been trained to use the Rebozo to assist in labor and birth. Here's a great e-book that can help if you cannot find a way to learn Rebozo from a class or doula. Also, check out the Spinning Babies website for additional descriptions of use of a Rebozo. I can't wait to experience this magic.
13) Birth Ball - We are using a birth ball to assist us during prenatal practice, labor and maybe birth. This helps balance the pelvis when seated on the ball. Hip circles on the ball feel amazing and can strengthen the core and help reduce discomfort in the hips before the baby comes. They can also be done during labor to help the baby move down and work with contractions. Also, pelvic tilts on the birth ball are sometimes more comfortable than on all fours. Some people find this helpful during actual delivery as well. I like to do my birth affirmations while swaying or leaning on the birth ball to encourage good positioning of the baby and provide some physical relaxation to the body while on the ball.
14) AquaDoula Tub - We rented our tub from our birth assistant. It is huge and will allow my husband and I to get into the tub during labor and birth. There are many benefits to water birth and I won't go into them here. However, the main reason we chose this is that it is very helpful in reducing discomfort during labor and birth and reduce the risk of tearing during pushing and birth.
15) iPod Mini - I have my birth affirmations and relaxation techniques saved on the ipod. It can clip to my sports bra even in the tub and allow me to go to my own peaceful place during labor and birth. We may add other music later but for now, that's all we have on it.
16) Birth Empowerment Space- This is something I learned from the Sacred Pregnancy movement. Mine includes my belly cast, a birth painting I painted, birth affirmations, lots of candles, my flower crown and birthing necklace from my blessingway. It is a physical reminder of the support I have with me physically and spirituallly for birth.
17) Jewish Books - I have two books of prayers to read during labor and right after birth. This was very powerful for me with my first birth. I also have some chants that my friend provided me.
I hope you find this helpful. Do you think I'm missing anything? Let me know what you think in the comments below!
Friday, December 6, 2013
Intentions for My Home Birth - December 2013
After my first birth to my son, I had a lot of healing to do. When this baby is born, my son will be two years and ten months old. It probably took me 2 years and 8 months to get in a good mindset for this birth. I struggled with so many people telling me that I had a healthy baby so why does it matter what my birth was like. As I mentioned previously, the two main things that happened with my first birth is I felt that my voice and my power were taken away for me. I spent a long time finding a way to empowerment. Here is what I did.
I started inadvertently by watching the Business of Being Born. This documentary made me realize that I was right to feel like I had been manipulated and even bullied at my birth. I actually had to pause the movie a couple of times to get out the emotions I was feeling.
After that, I began listening to parenting radio shows like Progressive Parenting. I also started reading a lot of natural parenting blogs like Mama Natural and The Mommypotamus. I also started following Mayim Bialik on Kveller.com. Through these different websites I learned about Attachment Parenting International and many other resources about natural birth and natural parenting. A lot of the information that touched me specifically is that each parent will parent differently. The most important thing to do is to follow your instincts and do what makes your heart feel light. Parenting is a very challenging job and one that will be with you for the rest of your life. It is ever changing and evolving as you change and your child changes. Flexibility and intuition are key to succeeding as best as one can in parenting. The other most important things if forgiveness. The ability to forgive yourself specifically is key to being successful and happy in parenting. I will struggle with this forever but I hope to keep the intentional choice to forgive myself, my husband and my children for all of our imperfections and mistakes.
As my husband and I got closer to discussing expanding our family, we had a lot of conversations about changing our lives to suit an expanding family. I chose to apply for a government position as a paralegal and leave the high stress world of private practice behind. We also began to learn a lot about minimalism and simplifying our lives to live intentionally. This continues to be something we work on and progress at a slower pace that we would hope. Someday soon I will write more about this.
Finally, we began to talk about OB/GYN or Midwife practices that would be a better match for our desire for a natural birth. We did a lot of research in the DC area and chose to go with a midwife practice since they have the strongest commitment to natural childbirth, at least in the NoVA area. We found two practices we were most interested in deciding beween: a hospital based practice and a home-birth/birth center based practice. After attending information sessions and having a lot of heart to heart talks, we decided to go with a home-birth practice that actually used to be my GYN practice before my insurance changed. The reasons we went with this is because I wanted a birth that was as far from the hospital birth I had with my son as possible. I also did not want to have to drive anywhere while in labor unless there was a medical reason to move. I wanted to be among my things in the comfort of my own home. I also wanted to stay in my bed after birth and not have to deal with all the hospital staff constantly coming in and out of my postpartum room after the baby arrived.
With that decision made, we were fortunate to get pregnant after our first try. We were definitely not expecting that and thank G-d for it each day. We focused on eating a healthier diet this pregnancy compared to my previous pregnancy. We also focused on incorporating more natural support for the pregnancy to avoid morning sickness and other problems. We used magnesium oil and epsom salts to help with morning sickness along with Vitamin B6. I had nausea but was sick significantly less this time around. The only times I got sick were due to my own stupidity in waiting too long to have breakfast. We also drank lots of pregnancy tea and red raspberry leaf tea to support my uterine health. We switched to food based prenatal vitamins and added probiotics, Vitamin K2 and Fermented Cod Live Oil as supplements to my diet.
As we started moving towards education for this pregnancy, we decided to attend three (yes 3) prenatal classes to help us prepare. The first was a Rebozo Workshop with the amazing Gena Kirby. Please check out her e-book and information about using a rebozo during childbirth. We learned so much in that one day class and I made some amazing friends that I continue to be close to now. The rebozo is a comforting tool that the husband and doula can use during labor to provide relief and comfort throughout labor, delivery and after birth to carry your baby.
Next we chose to take both Hypnobirthing and Bradley Method classes. The Bradley class was 12 weeks and focused on everything you would need to know for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, breastfeeding and even some childcare once the baby arrives. It was by far the most comprehensive class I've ever taken and I really wish I had taken it with my first pregnancy. The information about nutrition, relaxation, pain relief techniques and labor and birth positions. Simultaneously we took at 5 week Hypnobirthing class. This was also very helpful for me (although less for my husband). It focused on relaxation techniques and daily affirmations which help with the mental part of labor and birth. The class also re-frames the way we talk about labor and birth and removes the fear words from the experience. Also, one of my favorite parts of the class was the fear release which allowed you to acknowledge your fears for your pregnancy, birth and parenting and then release them from your mind. This helped me tremendously and I would highly recommend hiring a Hypnobirth instructor to do at the very least a fear release if you cannot take the full class. The class was mostly attended by second time mothers and seemed to take the teachings of Bradley a step farther for helping with labor and delivery. I also want to say that the breathing techniques and birthing positions at Hypnobirthing made the most sense to me and are what I intend to do. I wish the class had been longer because it is hard to focus on continuing the practice of the relaxation techniques outside of class.
I also wrote into Progressive Parenting and asked the lovely Ms. Gena Kirby to do a special show about traumatic birth and healing. You can hear excerpts from my letter and the entirety of the show here. This helped me so much because it allowed me to hear my story out load and learn that there are many other people out there who have experienced this. It allowed me to grieve and move on.
I continued to read lots of books about natural child birth, birth empowerment, and labor support. Some of my favorites were Childbirth Without Fear, Birthing from Within, Sacred Pregnancy, Mother Rising, The Thinking Woman's Guide To A Better Birth, The Birth Book by Dr. Sears in addition to the Hypnobirthing and Bradley Method books. I did not read all of these all the way through. Although I had full intentions to do so, parenting my son and sleep stayed my priority throughout. I also read The Jewish Pregnancy Book and The Jewish Baby Book. I continued to join endless Facebook pages and follow many blog posts about birthing, doulas, breastfeeding and attachment parenting. These gave me a lot of the tools and language to express what I wanted in this birth and help frame a vision for my ideal birth.
I also hired an amazing doula for this birth that I met at my Rebozo workshop. We clicked right away and she has been a great help. Even though I've been through labor and birth once, she has helped me acknowledge my concerns and also acknowledged and supported my intense desire to learn and change my next experience into my ideal birth.
With the help of my doula, child birth educators and midwives, I have also constructed a wonderful birth plan that is far more inclusive than the one I prepared for my son. In addition, it stays positive and spends time focused on what I want and not what I don't want. It sets my intentions for the birth while acknowledging that birth is unexpected and things can change. It provided details for home birth, hospital transfer by choice and hospital transfer in an emergency. That way, all of my bases are covered and my desires are known and on paper. My doula, midwives and husband all are very familiar with my birth plan and will take care of making sure it goes to plan.
Some of the specific things I listed in my birth plan to help me out were to remove numbers from my labor and delivery. I do not want to know what time it is, how long I've been in labor, how long my contractions are, how far apart they are, how dilated or effaced I am, or any other numeric value that could give me any indication of how far along I am or how I am progressing. Those things were used against me in my first pregnancy and are a source of great stress. Also, none of these are really good indications of when you will give birth or how long your labor will be. Instead we are going to focus on the emotional signposts and by how I look and feel throughout. It will allow me to lead the birth team through my birth based on my needs and desires and not on some arbitrary number. I have also asked to have no vaginal exams unless there is a really good medical reason as they are also very poor estimators of labor and delivery. I am also having a birthing tub in my own bedroom, with lots of candles, dark lights, my own music, no monitoring other than the doplar to check the baby's heart rate, and wearing my own clothes that I picked out with my own smells and sounds of my house. My son will be close by with my mother to allow him to be with me as much as he or I feel is necessary. G-d willing, he will witness the actual birth or be present shortly thereafter to meet his new sibling.
We also held a blessingway this time around instead of a baby shower. The blessingway experience meant a lot to me and was extremely powerful. It helped me create a circle of friends and family that will be supporting me throughout the remainder of my pregnancy, labor, birth and transitioning to a mother of two children. We talked about my previous birth, my intentions for this birth, my fears, my joys and excitement, and much more. We lit candles, adorned a cast of my pregnant breasts and belly with flowers and pearls. We had henna tattoos placed on our bodies (mine was of a Hamsah and a Tree of Life) and pampered each other and eat good food. We created a necklace made of beads contributed by the attendees to be worn during labor and birth. This physical reminder will help me keep them present with me during labor and birth even if they are physically elsewhere. We participated in a web of support with a red string that all of the attendants have agreed to wear until my birth. They brought food to fill my freezer so we would have sustenance when the baby arrived. They took the candles home with them to light when they find out I'm in labor so we will all be connected again. I felt uplifted and empowered by the women in my life and know that they will be with me in birth and forever.
We also lined up postpartum support by hiring a lactation consultant to come and visit us at home just after the baby is born and follow up with an in office visit shortly thereafter. We also have placenta encapsulation lined up to assist me with postpartum blues, any postpartum bleeding and producing more breast milk. We also have belly binding kit available so my doula can come and help my body physically recuperate after birth. I am also working on getting as much time off after the baby arrives as possible to heal and bond with the newest member of the family.
Now, we wait until the baby comes. I am so looking forward to this amazing experience. I have done all I can to shape it into an experience that my husband and I will love. I cannot wait to meet our newest little one. We have our prayers ready to say as soon as he/she is born. Waiting is always a challenge but it has given me time and space to write these posts and share with you my experiences. I hope someone reads them and finds them helpful.
I started inadvertently by watching the Business of Being Born. This documentary made me realize that I was right to feel like I had been manipulated and even bullied at my birth. I actually had to pause the movie a couple of times to get out the emotions I was feeling.
After that, I began listening to parenting radio shows like Progressive Parenting. I also started reading a lot of natural parenting blogs like Mama Natural and The Mommypotamus. I also started following Mayim Bialik on Kveller.com. Through these different websites I learned about Attachment Parenting International and many other resources about natural birth and natural parenting. A lot of the information that touched me specifically is that each parent will parent differently. The most important thing to do is to follow your instincts and do what makes your heart feel light. Parenting is a very challenging job and one that will be with you for the rest of your life. It is ever changing and evolving as you change and your child changes. Flexibility and intuition are key to succeeding as best as one can in parenting. The other most important things if forgiveness. The ability to forgive yourself specifically is key to being successful and happy in parenting. I will struggle with this forever but I hope to keep the intentional choice to forgive myself, my husband and my children for all of our imperfections and mistakes.
As my husband and I got closer to discussing expanding our family, we had a lot of conversations about changing our lives to suit an expanding family. I chose to apply for a government position as a paralegal and leave the high stress world of private practice behind. We also began to learn a lot about minimalism and simplifying our lives to live intentionally. This continues to be something we work on and progress at a slower pace that we would hope. Someday soon I will write more about this.
Finally, we began to talk about OB/GYN or Midwife practices that would be a better match for our desire for a natural birth. We did a lot of research in the DC area and chose to go with a midwife practice since they have the strongest commitment to natural childbirth, at least in the NoVA area. We found two practices we were most interested in deciding beween: a hospital based practice and a home-birth/birth center based practice. After attending information sessions and having a lot of heart to heart talks, we decided to go with a home-birth practice that actually used to be my GYN practice before my insurance changed. The reasons we went with this is because I wanted a birth that was as far from the hospital birth I had with my son as possible. I also did not want to have to drive anywhere while in labor unless there was a medical reason to move. I wanted to be among my things in the comfort of my own home. I also wanted to stay in my bed after birth and not have to deal with all the hospital staff constantly coming in and out of my postpartum room after the baby arrived.
With that decision made, we were fortunate to get pregnant after our first try. We were definitely not expecting that and thank G-d for it each day. We focused on eating a healthier diet this pregnancy compared to my previous pregnancy. We also focused on incorporating more natural support for the pregnancy to avoid morning sickness and other problems. We used magnesium oil and epsom salts to help with morning sickness along with Vitamin B6. I had nausea but was sick significantly less this time around. The only times I got sick were due to my own stupidity in waiting too long to have breakfast. We also drank lots of pregnancy tea and red raspberry leaf tea to support my uterine health. We switched to food based prenatal vitamins and added probiotics, Vitamin K2 and Fermented Cod Live Oil as supplements to my diet.
As we started moving towards education for this pregnancy, we decided to attend three (yes 3) prenatal classes to help us prepare. The first was a Rebozo Workshop with the amazing Gena Kirby. Please check out her e-book and information about using a rebozo during childbirth. We learned so much in that one day class and I made some amazing friends that I continue to be close to now. The rebozo is a comforting tool that the husband and doula can use during labor to provide relief and comfort throughout labor, delivery and after birth to carry your baby.
Next we chose to take both Hypnobirthing and Bradley Method classes. The Bradley class was 12 weeks and focused on everything you would need to know for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, breastfeeding and even some childcare once the baby arrives. It was by far the most comprehensive class I've ever taken and I really wish I had taken it with my first pregnancy. The information about nutrition, relaxation, pain relief techniques and labor and birth positions. Simultaneously we took at 5 week Hypnobirthing class. This was also very helpful for me (although less for my husband). It focused on relaxation techniques and daily affirmations which help with the mental part of labor and birth. The class also re-frames the way we talk about labor and birth and removes the fear words from the experience. Also, one of my favorite parts of the class was the fear release which allowed you to acknowledge your fears for your pregnancy, birth and parenting and then release them from your mind. This helped me tremendously and I would highly recommend hiring a Hypnobirth instructor to do at the very least a fear release if you cannot take the full class. The class was mostly attended by second time mothers and seemed to take the teachings of Bradley a step farther for helping with labor and delivery. I also want to say that the breathing techniques and birthing positions at Hypnobirthing made the most sense to me and are what I intend to do. I wish the class had been longer because it is hard to focus on continuing the practice of the relaxation techniques outside of class.
I also wrote into Progressive Parenting and asked the lovely Ms. Gena Kirby to do a special show about traumatic birth and healing. You can hear excerpts from my letter and the entirety of the show here. This helped me so much because it allowed me to hear my story out load and learn that there are many other people out there who have experienced this. It allowed me to grieve and move on.
I continued to read lots of books about natural child birth, birth empowerment, and labor support. Some of my favorites were Childbirth Without Fear, Birthing from Within, Sacred Pregnancy, Mother Rising, The Thinking Woman's Guide To A Better Birth, The Birth Book by Dr. Sears in addition to the Hypnobirthing and Bradley Method books. I did not read all of these all the way through. Although I had full intentions to do so, parenting my son and sleep stayed my priority throughout. I also read The Jewish Pregnancy Book and The Jewish Baby Book. I continued to join endless Facebook pages and follow many blog posts about birthing, doulas, breastfeeding and attachment parenting. These gave me a lot of the tools and language to express what I wanted in this birth and help frame a vision for my ideal birth.
I also hired an amazing doula for this birth that I met at my Rebozo workshop. We clicked right away and she has been a great help. Even though I've been through labor and birth once, she has helped me acknowledge my concerns and also acknowledged and supported my intense desire to learn and change my next experience into my ideal birth.
With the help of my doula, child birth educators and midwives, I have also constructed a wonderful birth plan that is far more inclusive than the one I prepared for my son. In addition, it stays positive and spends time focused on what I want and not what I don't want. It sets my intentions for the birth while acknowledging that birth is unexpected and things can change. It provided details for home birth, hospital transfer by choice and hospital transfer in an emergency. That way, all of my bases are covered and my desires are known and on paper. My doula, midwives and husband all are very familiar with my birth plan and will take care of making sure it goes to plan.
Some of the specific things I listed in my birth plan to help me out were to remove numbers from my labor and delivery. I do not want to know what time it is, how long I've been in labor, how long my contractions are, how far apart they are, how dilated or effaced I am, or any other numeric value that could give me any indication of how far along I am or how I am progressing. Those things were used against me in my first pregnancy and are a source of great stress. Also, none of these are really good indications of when you will give birth or how long your labor will be. Instead we are going to focus on the emotional signposts and by how I look and feel throughout. It will allow me to lead the birth team through my birth based on my needs and desires and not on some arbitrary number. I have also asked to have no vaginal exams unless there is a really good medical reason as they are also very poor estimators of labor and delivery. I am also having a birthing tub in my own bedroom, with lots of candles, dark lights, my own music, no monitoring other than the doplar to check the baby's heart rate, and wearing my own clothes that I picked out with my own smells and sounds of my house. My son will be close by with my mother to allow him to be with me as much as he or I feel is necessary. G-d willing, he will witness the actual birth or be present shortly thereafter to meet his new sibling.
We also held a blessingway this time around instead of a baby shower. The blessingway experience meant a lot to me and was extremely powerful. It helped me create a circle of friends and family that will be supporting me throughout the remainder of my pregnancy, labor, birth and transitioning to a mother of two children. We talked about my previous birth, my intentions for this birth, my fears, my joys and excitement, and much more. We lit candles, adorned a cast of my pregnant breasts and belly with flowers and pearls. We had henna tattoos placed on our bodies (mine was of a Hamsah and a Tree of Life) and pampered each other and eat good food. We created a necklace made of beads contributed by the attendees to be worn during labor and birth. This physical reminder will help me keep them present with me during labor and birth even if they are physically elsewhere. We participated in a web of support with a red string that all of the attendants have agreed to wear until my birth. They brought food to fill my freezer so we would have sustenance when the baby arrived. They took the candles home with them to light when they find out I'm in labor so we will all be connected again. I felt uplifted and empowered by the women in my life and know that they will be with me in birth and forever.
We also lined up postpartum support by hiring a lactation consultant to come and visit us at home just after the baby is born and follow up with an in office visit shortly thereafter. We also have placenta encapsulation lined up to assist me with postpartum blues, any postpartum bleeding and producing more breast milk. We also have belly binding kit available so my doula can come and help my body physically recuperate after birth. I am also working on getting as much time off after the baby arrives as possible to heal and bond with the newest member of the family.
Now, we wait until the baby comes. I am so looking forward to this amazing experience. I have done all I can to shape it into an experience that my husband and I will love. I cannot wait to meet our newest little one. We have our prayers ready to say as soon as he/she is born. Waiting is always a challenge but it has given me time and space to write these posts and share with you my experiences. I hope someone reads them and finds them helpful.
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